Your Mentor Means Everything

You know someone cares about you when they show up after your surgery to put all of your facial jewelry back in, just so you don't feel naked when you are more awake. You also know that they care about you when, with their finger straight up your nostril, they don't laugh when you look them in the eye and tell them how pretty they are. They just ask if you are loopy from pain meds and say thank you when you snicker out a sloppily grinned "Yes!"

Most aspects of my life have taken substantial and worthwhile effort, arrived at wonderfully inopportune times, or simply gone awry in every way inhumanly possible. I would even say that my apprenticeship materialized in such a manner, via pure happenstance and wishful thinking. I was in the right industry, in the right building, and meowing in the vicinity of the right person. 

However, Tiffany, my cat loving mentor, did not take me on at first meow. I had already been in the shop before she arrived, so she knew that I wasn’t new to the industry, but it was very important to her that we got along. She had to know she could spend hours at a time with me without wanting to toss me out of the room (my words, not hers) and that she was able to teach in a method I would understand. On the monetary side of it all, Tiffany wanted to make sure she was able to afford to pay me, as it is illegal to not pay an apprentice. It took over a year for her to decide to take me on, after I had only asked once.

Who teaches you is just as important as how they teach you. 

You and your mentor do not need to be best friends, but their methods matter. Until recently in New Jersey, that was 1900+ hours you would be spending within 5 feet of each other.

Your time spent with them should not be free labor.

There are so many instances of studios asking for your time 24/7 and requesting payment for the apprenticeship. This is rampant in the body modification industry, but piercers and studios alike are pushing back against it through diligence, education, and kindness.

The environment you learn in does not have to be toxic.

Being abused and manipulated by your mentor is wrong and you do not need to stay just for the opportunity to learn. Leaving your apprenticeship due to this does not mean you will never find one again, either. 

Waiting for the right opportunity is sometimes better than taking the first one that comes your way, no matter how rare those seem to be lately. 

There are resources out there to help you better equip yourself and understand the situation.

Tiffany has become one of my best friends, she is family, she is my mentor, and these aspects of us we separate. We have had that conversation. She teaches nonlinearly. I do not learn linear, never have. She always tells me that if I do not show up to work it is my loss, not hers. I miss my chance to learn and she doesn’t have to pay me for the day. Tiffany is constantly talking to me about how I deserve to be treated, how clients deserve to be treated, and how she deserves to be treated. She is an advocate and she is my peer.

Tiffany literally bought me head lamp that looks like a duck, because I have a duck problem. 

Exhibit A:

Tiffany makes stupid videos with me, shown here in blurry screenshots.

Exhibit B:

Tiffany and her cats are very supportive.

Exhibit C:

Who your mentor is matters. Sometimes more than the learning opportunity.