This is, once again, not a topic that is new in the community, but a topic I do think is worth talking about. I love talking about my experience as a black cosplayer because, although it can be fun, it is not just rainbows and sparkles. Throughout the years of me cosplaying, I have gotten my fair share of racist comments, but although I don't let these comments get to me, deep down they still impact my feelings towards cosplaying.
In September 2021, my TikTok account started gaining a lot of attention, and I, of course, was overwhelmed but also very happy. But with positive attraction comes some negative attraction as well. This was my first time ever getting a racist comment. This person just started off with the typical "this character isn't back (laughing emoji)" blah blah, I don't really care. I told myself that there isn't much I can do to satisfy this person because I am not painting myself white just because the character is white (I only do that for one character, and it's because they're a robot and for the scare factor). Anyways, I calmly responded to the video because I honestly did not care about this person's view of me, and people defended me! I thought that was the end of that, but it only got worse from there.
This person continued to harass me for about a month. Leaving racist comment after racist comment, and each time I would ignore or delete the comment. This person would then go from commenting to making a video about me, even tagging me. In the video, they took a screenshot of one of my videos, drew over my skin, painted me white, and captioned it with something along the lines of "you look so much better this way!". I was weirded out and then blocked them, which is something I should've done in the first place, but I was 15 at the time and didn't really know how to handle these kinds of things. At the time, I didn't think much of the video, but now that I'm older, I can definitely tell it affected how I viewed my appearance in cosplay, because for the next 2 years, I used filters that made my skin appear lighter. Even today, I still get comments like that, and sometimes they do hurt because these people will never view me on the same level as them and white cosplayers.
Because of these comments I have gotten and what other black cosplayers have gotten, I'm always second-guessing myself. When I'm about to buy a cosplay, I'm always asking myself, "Will this even look good on me? on my skin tone?" because I'm so worried about looking a certain way to please everyone. I'm always searching and searching for makeup tips on darker skin; it is hard. But one thing I do love about being a black cosplayer is how resilient we all are. Despite many of us having terrible experiences in the cosplay community, many of us don't allow it to ruin our love for the hobby. I haven't quit cosplaying because my love overshadows the hate. My cosplays inspire people and give hope to others, and that is something that I have always wanted to be: An inspiration!
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