Not Dead Yet

When I was 71 and told friends and family that I'd enrolled as a full-time freshman at our local community college, the reaction I heard most often was:

"Why?"

or even

"Why bother?"

One person even got angry.

When I announced that I was going to try shot put — with the dream of competing in the New Jersey Senior Olympics — I heard the same question:

 "Why?"

There were those, especially my husband, who were supportive and encouraging. But the others? Eventually, I realized they weren't reacting to my decisions. They were hearing a challenge to their own choices.

"I'm doing this — maybe you should do something too."

I'm in no position to judge anyone. Many people I know have accomplishments I admire — accomplishments that outstrip my own. They have their own unique flavors of regret and longing. So why should they feel concerned, or even threatened, by what I choose to do in this third age of life?

Still, if they really want an answer, here it is:

"Because I'm not dead yet."

There are other reasons. I've spent most of my life keeping myself apart from the world. Now, I want to be part of it. And I want to keep learning so my brain doesn't check out before my body.

But mostly, I want a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The number of people who have ever lived is estimated to be around 117 billion. With today's population nearing 8 billion, that means roughly 109 billion people have already died. In other words:

109 billion people have failed to avoid death.

It seems unlikely that I'll be the one to beat the odds. Maybe I can't win the war, but I won't wave the white flag while there's still fun to be had. The Grim Reaper's going to have to work for this one.

I'm a lucky person. While 10% of the world's population starves, my biggest problem has been eating too much. And when that behavior led to a stroke, I recovered almost immediately. That tells me something:

Apparently, I'm supposed to live a little longer.

And that's exactly what I intend to do.